I used to read these sites compulsively but I guess my life isn't as empty as it used to be. Recently someone mashed the NY site with Gmap and overplot was born. Anyway, here are some funnies I collected but never got to post, cheers



Co-worker #1: I just want to confirm that this is your fault.
Co-worker #2: Yeah.
Co-worker #1: Great. Thanks.
Clear Channel Radio
1932 Highland Avenue, Cincinnati, Ohio

Woman: Move in, motherfuckers, move in!
Yuppie guy: Wait for the next one, this is too packed.
Woman: Bitch, I have to be on this train!
Yuppie guy: This isn't the train to heaven, you know. It's, like, going to Queens.
--F train

Walkie talkie: Attention all units, attention all units...Does anyone want Chinese food?
--Staten Island Ferry

Woman: Don't buy me no jewelry that's on TV, Nigga! What're you talking about?
--1/9 train

Conductor: Move to the back of the bus, come on people...You're gonna be late. I'm already at work so it doesn't bother me
--Q46 bus

Girl: The fuckin' R train is a motherfuckin' myth. I swear to god, it's the fuckin' unicorn: only fools and virgins can see it.
--Canal Street N/Q/R/W station

Girl #1: Ew, you're holding on to the bar?
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm holding on to the bar. If I don't I'll fall over.
Girl #1: Ew. That is so gross. That's like the one thing that grosses me out more than anything.
Girl #2: It's just a bar.
Girl #1: No, you don't understand. I would rather have someone pee on my face than touch that thing.
--N train

Girl #1: You got some yarn?
Girl #2: Fuck yeah, I got some motherfucking yarn! I pulling out my needles, niggas being all, "Damn, she crocheting and shit!" Ain't nobody doing it before I been doing it.
Girl #3: I got mine.
Girl #2: Holla.
--A train

Girl: Why is that hobo reading a South Beach diet cookbook?
--6 train

Hispanic woman: ...and then I caught him going through my pocketbook and I was like, "You betta get out of there", because he might find something that looks like a Skittle but it's really a pill. He gonna grow up to be a thief or somethin'.
White woman: He looks like a murderer.
--R train

Man on cell: Listen, I told you three times: Go. Fuck. Your. Self. In. The. Ass.
--34th & Madison

White guy on cell: Talk quickly. I only have 29 more blocks until I'm home.
--50th & 8th

Woman on cell: Oh, they have them? Get me a size 3...Oh wait, are they stretch?...No? Then at least a 7-8.
--Fulton & Broadway

Girl on cell: Hi, I received my FreshDirect order this morning, and I ordered one regular eggplant but instead I got fifteen limes. So I was just wondering what I was supposed to do about this. Thanks, bye!
--Water & Fulton

Guy on cell: Ha, ha. All I can think about is when you ate all those M&Ms and puked all over yourself. And now you're in charge of someone's life.
--52nd & 6th

Girl on cell: It was so lame! It was full of bloggers!...Yeah, I know!
--Tompkins Square Park

Girl on cell: I've been waiting for you for a half hour!...I'm in the cafe on the corner in Times Square.
--Europa Cafe, 43rd & 7th

Man: What kind of fucking neighborhood is this? I had to get a quarter from a bum to pay for this.
--Deli, East Williamsburg

Drunk guy on cell: We're going to the Lower East Side. You can't miss me--I'm in a rickshaw!
--2nd Avenue & 4th Street

Guy on cell: Oh, wow, that's too bad. You know I would help you out if I were in New York. I am on the West Coast, I flew out yesterday, I am standing on Rodeo Drive.
--73rd & 3rd

Project Engineer: If you expect me to do quality work I'm going to need a raise.
Town Bank
10 West Mifflin Street, Madison, Wisconsin

Teen girl #1: Let's go in this store.
Teen girl #2: I don't know...it looks kind of sketch. And there's a weird guy staring at us.
Teen girl #1: Come on! What have we got to lose?
Teen girl #3: Um, our virginity?
--St. Marks

Girl: And every time she'd yell at me for something I just wanted to be like, "Shut up, you're ugly."
--1st Avenue & 9th Street

Artist guy: C'mon honey, I'll draw your picture, make you look like Chewbacca.
--Times Square

Hipster guy #1: Hey, I love this Moby song.
Hipster guy #2: Dude, this is clearly Mission of Burma!
Hipster guy #3: Ha, ha! You just got punk'd!
--Buttermilk Bar, Park Slope