Some nice distractions from all that work (around you)

Boss: Will my BlackBerry work in Thailand?
IT: Yeah, it will work anywhere in Europe.
One Allen Center, Houston, Texas

Co-worker #1: Are you going to the Christmas party?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: Why not?
Co-worker #2: Because I am going to a funeral.
Co-Worker #1: I would rather go to a funeral than this Christmas party.
3001 West Big Beaver Road, Troy, Michigan

Peon: Well, you know as they say, "Necessity is the mother of all invention."
Boss: That's cool, did you just make that up?
800 E. 28th Street, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Inside Wholesaler #1: We could cast a fourth Lord of the Rings with some of the people that work on this sales desk.
Inside Wholesaler #2: I know! [Janet] looks like a stump with eyes and a mouth.
601 Congress Street, Boston, Massachusetts

VP Research: The client would like us to find a creative way to solve the problem.
Field Manager: I am tired of looking for the solution to this problem; let's start looking for someone to blame instead...
85 E Street, South Portland, Maine

Co-worker #1: If I sent the e-mail to [Duncan]'s BlueBerry, would he be able to open the attachment?
Co-worker #2: What's a BlueBerry?
Co-worker #1: You know, a PDA. Everyone up there has them.
Co-worker #2: I thought those were BlackBerrys?
Co-worker #1: No, they are blue, the black ones are last seasons's model. Look it up.
100 North 6th Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Co-worker on phone: "What am I working on?" I'm working on not killing anyone. What're you working on?
640 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY

Employee: So Doc, how long before the leg grows back?
Vet: It's not a freakin' starfish!
4448 Hendricks Avenue, Jacksonville, Florida

Account manager: Do you get the monthly reports and messages?
Office worker: No, I don't get anything. I'm so lonely.
Berkeley Divinity School at Yale
409 Prospect Street, New Haven, Connecticut

Business Services Manager: I just sent you that logo in Word format.
Web Manager: Word isn't really an image format, but I can probably make it work.
Business Services Manager: Well, I probably have it in another format. I think I might have it as a Giraffe.
211 Commerce Street, Nashville, Tennessee

Lawyer #1: What does that mean again?
Lawyer #2: Listen, if you can't figure out this report, you're fired.
452 5th Avenue, New York, NY

Student: Can you back up my papers and stuff?
Technician: Sure, how much is there?
Student: About four gigabytes...it's mostly porn but there are some papers mixed in there somewhere.
Kent State University
16 Petrarca Drive, Kent, Ohio

Engineer: Man, I can't write code today. Someone must have stole my talent.
Manager: That would be petty theft.
8000 West Sunrise Boulevard, Plantation, Florida

Attorney: An Interested Party is any board member who receives, or whose spouse or descendants receives, financial gain from the corporation.
Board member: So if my son works here, then I'm not an Interested Party.
Attorney: Your son is your descendant.
Board member: Are you sure?
1524 North Santa Fe Avenue, Vista, California

Co-worker: Oh, there's my stapler! I was looking for it.
Boss: Actually it's my stapler. I own this company; everything here is mine. I'm just letting you keep it at your desk.
1718 Villa Avenue, Indianapolis, Indiana

Boss: Did you hear about the terrorist attacks in Jordan?
Secretary: Um, yes; a suicide bomber killed hundreds of people at a wedding.
Boss: You see, you shouldn't attend so many weddings. The odds are against you.
Scripps Research Institute
10550 North Torrey Pines Road, La Jolla, California

Boss: Why were you late today?
Employee: I went out last night and I stayed out too late.
Boss: I am not sure if I should admire your honesty or if I should fire you for not having the courtesy to lie to me.
Hudson River Foundation
17 Battery Place, New York, NY

Co-worker #1: My diet is going really well. I have hardly eaten anything today.
Co-Worker #2: Oh really?
Co-Worker #1: Yeah, I have had only three hot dogs and two hamburgers.
Convergys
860 Levoy Drive, Salt Lake City, Utah

Co-worker #1: I don't understand why she had to take her birthday off. I mean, if it's just your birthday and you're not doing anything special, what's the point?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I'd only take the day off if it was my birthday and I had cancer.
Good Morning America
147 Columbus Avenue, New York, NY

IT: Okay, try it now. The problem solved, it works.
Call Center: Wait, wait, wait. Don't start jerking each other off just yet...We still have to test one other thing.
Marketron
101 Empty Saddle Trail, Hailey, Idaho

Co-worker #1: Okay guys, I'll see you next week. I'm heading off to Tennessee to see relatives.
Co-worker #2: Well, don't hook up with anybody.
Capital One
456 North Kimball Place, Boise, Idaho

Exec #1: ...Yeah, anybody can own a Louis Vuitton nowadays. You know someone really has money when they can control other people's time.
Exec #2: Totally.
1212 6th Avenue, New York, NY

Employee #1: It's disgusting. Someone left a big piece of shit floating in the toilet.
Employee #2: Speaking of shit floating, did you hear who got promoted?
425 East Wacker Drive, Chicago, Illinois