All from Overheard In New York

A thugged out girl tests all of her ring tones as loud as possible for a solid minute.
Preppy girl: Are you serious with that? Can you do everyone a favor and stop?
Thug girl: I know you're not talking to me. You messed with the wrong girl.
Preppy girl: I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Your screaming phone made me deaf.
Thug girl: I'll f her up. But then she'll call the cops; her people love the cops. Go back to where you came from!
Preppy girl: I'm trying to. That's why I'm on the train, you stupid bitch. Look, you got a new cell phone and that's great, but figure it out at home.
Thug girl: I'll f you up. You're f-ing with the wrong girl. Don't be fooled by the pretty face.
Preppy girl: Pretty face? Where?
--N train

Teen boy: I'm gonna stab him in the uterus.
--F train

Tourist guy: Do you live here?...Excuse me, do you live here?
Black woman: Yeah, what do you want?
Tourist guy: Is this the 6 train?
Black woman: Yeah, sure.
Tourist guy: So it will take me to Grand Central?
Black woman: Yeah, no doubt...But it's weekend, so you never know where the train is going to take you.
--Q train

Girl #1: I like to surround myself with ugly people because it makes me look prettier by comparison.
Girl #2: I know what you mean.
--F train

Guy #1: Get out of the way! You're in the walking lane and people are trying to pass.
Guy #2: What walking lane? Only an idiot would walk on an elevator. People who walk are idiots.
Guy #1: This is called an escalator.
--Grand Central

Chick #1: One of my earphones on my iPod is completely busted.
Chick #2: Why? Do you listen to it really loud?
Chick #1: Yeah, on the subway. I try to drown out the noise.
Chick #2: I wish they made iPods for the nose so you could drown out the smell.
--Life Cafe Nine 83, Bushwick